This week we have been having free writing. I wrote about a little train, named Trainee. I wrote about this because I have a HUGE brain. I figured out a plan to write about Trainee. I used a little help from Miss Walters about Trainee's name, I came up with Train the train, but I knew it would be a little bit silly so Miss Walters helped me turn Train the train into Trainee the train!
How do you like my introduction and my writing? Leave me a comment!
Friday, 3 May 2019
7 comments:
To support my learning I ask you to comment as follows:
1. Something positive - Begin with a greeting. Talk about something you like about what I have shared.
2. Thoughtful - A comment that will mean something to me to let me know you read/watched or listened to what I had to say. - use any language.
3. Something helpful - Give me some ideas for next time or ask me a question
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I enjoyed hearing your enthusiasm for your writing when you shared at Te Mahuri Time on Friday. I like how you described the locations of your story. I thought the wee details such as about the broken roller coaster toy added interest. I wonder what made the boulders storm away?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteHi Ms Lange. Thank you for the comment. It is helpful that I have got others to help me, with lots of different things to learn. Do your class have a blog?
DeleteFrom Dylan
Hi Dylan.
ReplyDeleteI like how you have added lots detail in your writing. Maybe next time you could use lots of strong words in your writing? My favourite part is the last part of your story. I really loved your story. What would Trainee do next?
From Nishka
Hi Nishka, thanks for replying. I think Trainee and his friends are going to get away from the boulders or the bolder trap. Or trainee and his friends might be crushed. I'm not sure what to chose yet but I will. Someday at least. Have you written anything about this or something else? From Dylan
ReplyDeleteHi Dylan.
ReplyDeletetranie was a great story i like how you added a problem good job i think you should make trainie go of the rails as another problem how did tranie lose his left wheel? by Dylan.
Hi quinn.
DeleteThanks for replying.
Did you mean off instead of ‘of’ because It doesn't make sense to me. WAIT have you even read this story, Have you got this comment checked by an adult????? What is your favorite part of my story? Trainee lost his left wheel a looooooooooooooooooooooonnnnng time ago. I forgot to tell you the rest of it tomorrow at your house because you will be there.
From Dylan